starkingenuity | (no subject)

Nothing would ever be as sweet as this. Tony Stark had not liked his father much, but every son has a need for revenge when they don't get to take out the big bad in their life personally. His dad hadn't hit him, but abuse can work down other channels. And even so, his old man hadn't deserved to die, and certainly not like he did. It was so ordinary to be shot down, for it to look like a cheap accident. Though it left Tony free of him, it also robbed him of his mother in the same stroke. He never understdood why unless it was all just for show.

Though he'd never had a name or a face, Tony had hated Bucky Barnes for a very long time. That his parents' murderer had been Steve Rogers' best friend, or had been brainwashed to be some sort of mindless slug, he didn't care. He hadn't cared at all, not until he found him asleep on that birdshit stained park bench with newspapers over him. And he hadn't cared then either when he stood there, repulsors aimed towards that piece of scum, until he muttered something in Russian and rolled onto his side.

The cap slipped. His gaunt face showed a man half his own age, looking absolutely wretched and...lost.

Tony Stark had spent the better part of a week on the new suit which, he did tell JARVIS, he didn't quite care if it could kill him or not with the way he disregarded every last safety measure in the book he himself had written. He'd managed to keep is secret from all of the comers and goers from the Tower too.

And now, now that he's here, now that the Winter Soldier had been tracked down in this park in the slums of DC, he can't bring himself to that revenge that had kept him drunk since he discovered how to track the man.

So Tony stands there. And waits. And sometimes forgets to breathe.

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From:

starkingenuity

"I feel that way sometimes too," Tony said, still looking out of the window. "But I can't bend time. I don't even approve of suicide. Not even for bad drivers."

The smile was in his voice, even if Bucky couldn't see it.

"How about something I can actually give you. A puppy? A girl? A boy if that's what does it for you? Trip to Paris?"

From:

who_is_bucky

No one can bend time and give him the time he had lost. No one can fix this. He's just a broken weapon without a trigger and at best just a plaything to amuse a dead man. Bucky doesn't want anything that Tony can give him. He gave up wanting things seventy years ago when Hydra played with his brain. He's probably better off dead but apparently Tony won't give him that either. Otherwise he'd already be dead.

"I don't know," he says again and he wishes that he had an answer for him but he just doesn't. He doesn't know how to be free. He's fairly certain that sex isn't the answer to his problems either.

From:

starkingenuity

Sex was absolutely the answer to every problem! Or maybe the start. Or both.

Turning from the window when he realized that Bucky was not going to attack him, Tony smirked and plopped down at the table. He put his feet up on it, toes up, heels down. His table, his dirt. They were done eating anyway.

"You need...a purpose. Fine. Probably a parent. There's a TV and the internet at your disposal. That's how people parent these days. We've got to reinsert you into this world. I don't have the time and energy to return you to the deep freeze."

From:

who_is_bucky

Well, for Bucky it definitely wasn't the answer but he could certainly see how it might be the start. It wasn't something he was interested in. He didn't have those urges, at least that he knew, and he stared again at Tony as the man flopped down.

His gaze shifts to the TV in the room. He knows what it is and what Tony means by the internet but he doesn't know how much importance either hold to him. He's listless. Lost in a world without a purpose. Television isn't going to magically create something.

He flinches slightly at the mention of being frozen, eyes widening marginally and he says automatically, "I'll do what you say."

From:

starkingenuity

Tony frowned at Bucky and tilted his chin down to his chest. "It wasn't a threat," he said gently. What would Banner do at a time like this? What would Steve do? Or Pepper?

It wasn't an option to call anyone. Even if he wanted to. What would Pepper or Bruce do?

He slumped in his seat and scowled lightly. He needed some time to himself. Instead, now he had to watch this puppy. Erring on the side of caution was not going to work.

"J. Put on CNN. And get me Banner."

From:

who_is_bucky

It takes a few moments for his expression and breathing to even out. Does he believe Tony? He doesn't know, not for sure, but the man had fixed his arm without killing him and he hasn't tried to wipe him again. It's as much trust as he feels like doling out right now.

He jerks a little when the TV is suddenly just on. Surprising him is probably a bad idea. Bucky tilts his head to see the screen from where he's sitting and hesitates, before grabbing his water to carry to the bed. He sits at the very end of it. Tony had said watch TV right? He doesn't ignore the man on the phone but he doesn't give an indication he's listening either.

"Tony?" the man had obviously been asleep. He wipes a hand at his face, "Where are you? What time it is?" He fumbles for the alarm clock. Bruce doesn't know what time it is either. Sometimes he sleeps a lot.

From:

starkingenuity

Tony wasn't going to hang around to be listened to. He headed to the bathroom instead. He probably shouldn't leave Bucky alone, but what were his choices? He was pretty sure that the other man was loyal to him anyhow. Testing that out couldn't hurt.

"I got a new pet, Banner," Tony groaned. "I'm in DC and..." And what? Bruce had fled the moment SHIELD leaked his identity to the media. Tony knew where to find him, obviously, but he was trying to give the other man his space to deal with his demons. "The guy that killed Fury... And my parents. I found him. He....uh...doesn't remember half of it. They were wiping him between missions, putting him on ice. It's fucked up, Banner."

From:

thatsnotmysecret

Bucky would actually behave and sit there, just taking in the news. And maybe being confused by commercials.

Lucky for Tony, Bruce is patient as he rambles around and tries to follow along. He's been in the wind. He doesn't have a lot of times for news and what's going on but he's pretty sure everyone in the world has heard about SHIELD.

Bruce, before he tries to sort things out, says, "It's Hydra, I don't think they come in other versions." He sits up in bed and wipes a hand at his face again then asks the next most obvious question. "I'm guessing you didn't just take a walk and stumble on him."

From:

starkingenuity

It wasn't just SHIELD that everyone had heard about. It was everyone. Everything. Tony's designs were out there. His company was hemorhaging money left and right. He had nothing left here but a vendetta and some scrap metal and now that he no longer wanted the former, he wasn't sure what to do with himself.

"I couldn't do it. I wanted to. Jesus, Banner, I wanted to do badly. But he doesn't remember anything. He doesn't even know who he is. It seemed...cruel."

So he took him home, got room service...patched him up?

Yeah, he knew it sounded crazy.

"I need some help here. He's barely human."

From:

thatsnotmysecret

Bruce is patient as he listens to the man ramble about everything that's happened so far. He honestly isn't sure what Tony wants him to tell him. It isn't like he has experience with this sort of thing.

"You know I'm not that kind of doctor," Bruce replies with a shake of his head. "He needs someone that's actually qualified to talk to him. So you took him home? Why didn't you call Steve?"

From:

starkingenuity

"Steve is going to take him away."

Tony knows that this is an extremely, poorly timed issue. He was not in the right mind set to take care of anyone and his reasons for taking care of Bucky were probably the worst imaginable. He knows it. In a way, he wants Bruce to talk him out of it. Why else would he had called?

"I'm going to turn him over. But not yet. I just need some advice that isn't go to Captain America."

From:

thatsnotmysecret

"Why shouldn't he?" Bruce reasons, frowning at Tony on the phone. "He knows Bucky better than anyone right?"

His head tilts slightly, "Why don't you want to give him up?"

Bruce doesn't necessarily need an answer but he is curious. He also says, "Without seeing him in person I couldn't tell you what he needs for sure. Treat him like a person. Hydra didn't, he was nothing to them. Let him make choices. Encourage him to remember things. However, I still think you should call Steve. Unless you can tell me why it's important that you don't."

From:

starkingenuity

He knew he ought to have not called. Tony frowned at the wall until his face hurt before he thought about hanging up. "Thanks for the advice, Banner. Don't forget to boil the water before you drink it."

He didn't want to have to explain himself. Bruce would get a dial tone to sigh to as Tony flushed the toilet and then headed back out to Bucky as he tilted his head like a puppy at the television during a commercial about some sort of new cooking gadget.

"Hey. Uh. Listen. How do you feel about Steve Rogers?"

From:

who_is_bucky

Bruce does sigh because he doesn't know what answer the other man had been looking for but it was never going to be the right one. Bruce doesn't exactly know what to do either. Steve had been his best advice. He's not clear on what the point is with Tony keeping him. He makes a mental note to check in a few days from now.

Bucky is still in front of the TV. They've been talking about Hydra quite a bit. People that had been in Pierce's pocket for years that are still missing. They mention him once or twice but nobody seems to know what to make of him. Which is okay. He doesn't know either. Commercials always interrupt important things and they're just... weird. Why wouldn't you just use a knife to slice a banana?

His attention shifts when Tony speaks and he presses his lips together. It's complicated. He shakes his head and helpfully responds, "I don't know."

From:

starkingenuity

That wasn't the answer he was looking for. It wasn't an answer at all. Pressing his lips together, Tony observed Bucky with a frankly annoyed look. "First thing that comes to mind when you think about him then?"

How can he ever help Bucky to think for himself? He felt like he was in a bad rendition of Pretty Woman. Only Bucky was no Julia Roberts with those boots that went on forever.

"You have to help me help you. Focus."

From:

who_is_bucky

He stares at Tony and his annoyed look in confusion--he had answered him. It's not his fault the answer hadn't matched what he'd expected. Bucky warily watches the other man, concerned he's about to be punished and says instead, "Mission."

It's the first thing that comes to mind. It's one of those things that's ingrained to his bones. The order makes his forehead crease. He is focusing. "And..." he searches for the word he wants before he says, "And alarm. He made me remember." Bucky wet the corner of his mouth. "I wasn't supposed to remember."

From:

starkingenuity

Worst Rorschach test ever. Tony wiped a hand down his face and sighed through his nose with utter annoyance. It wasn't poor Bucky's fault. He knew that. Knew that and didn't give a fuck either. Plopping down beside the trained homicidal killer, Tony stretched out and tried again.

"Remembering is a good thing now," he said as gently as possible. "A very good thing. The best thing. So. Uh. Let's not think about Steve as a mission. Let's focus on remembering who you use to be. Steve's a big part of that, right? Listen. I'm not going to always be here to tell you what to do so we have to teach you how to give yourself orders."

From:

who_is_bucky

Is that wrong too? Tony is acting like it's wrong. Bucky is doing his best here but he just looks more confused as the other man plops down on the bed. His gaze follows him though he doesn't really move at all. He just breathes, slow and even and through his nose as he tries to make sense of things.

Remembering is a good thing. He repeats it in his head a few times in the hopes that it sticks properly. "I think so, but I don't..." he cuts himself off and shakes his head. He knows Tony doesn't like him to say he doesn't know so he won't. "He thinks so. That exhibit thinks so."

His head tilts toward Tony--giving himself orders? "How?"

From:

starkingenuity

How? Is this how kindergarten teachers felt when their students ate paste? Tony wanted to strangle someone. Mostly himself. Who told him that this was a good idea?!

Licking his lips, Tony tried to start small. "Okay, so, you just...think about what you want. Or right, you have no idea what you want. Great. So. Instead of that, let's start small. Get dressed. We're going out in the big wide world where they don't approve of wearing robes."

From:

who_is_bucky

Bucky thinks it would be more conducive if he just strangled him but that's another thing entirely. Hydra hadn't taught him to take care of himself and had taken his choices from him. What had he really expected when he'd gone looking?

He stands up to go into the bathroom to get his clothes. His filthy clothes. Bucky strips off the robe before he's even to the bathroom. Hopefully Tony doesn't mind what he had been wearing but he kind of doesn't own anything else.

From:

starkingenuity

They were going to rectify that. Bucky just wouldn't fit into anything Tony kept laying around. Not even his t-shirts. He had no idea how these men from the 40s managed to maintain such a massive amount of muscles after so long in deep freeze--

How annoying.

Bucky stunk to high heaven but it couldn't be helped. Tony called for a car with a driver, so he could keep an eye on Bucky at all times and directed the man towards the higher end boutiques. Marching a homeless hobo into an Bruckheimers' was more amusing than anything Tony had experienced in his life...until he remembered Pretty Woman.

And then he just felt old.

From:

who_is_bucky

It isn't terribly concerned with his clothes or how he smells. He doesn't think about it because he's never been taught to care. He had taken showers when they had said and sometimes he'd woken up clean out of the freezer. He tries not to think about what he remembers.

He is nearly silent as he follows Tony down to the car. Bucky doesn't do seatbelts either. He sits still and mostly just stares ahead of him, though on occasion he forces himself to look out the window at the world.

When they get to the store, he stops dead at the entrance. There are no other exits. None that he can see. None he is comfortable assuming are just there at least. There might be a back door but he doesn't know. He glances warily at Tony; he doesn't like this.

Bucky has no idea what Pretty Woman is either so unless Tony wants to explain, he best keep quiet about it.

From:

starkingenuity

Having dealt with Steve Rogers and his lack of knowledge of popular culture, Tony would in no way bring up anything he had to explain to Bucky. Learned that lesson already. The winter soldier was a hassle. Bruce had been right about taking him to Rogers but now Tony just had to be stubborn.

It wasn't exactly about winning...but it kind of was.

He gave Bucky a little push to get him into the store and turned his charm on towards the women, eyebrows lifting suggestively. "Do I have a project for you guys!" he announced, flashed around his smile and platinum card and moved aside to let other people do his work.

From:

who_is_bucky

The push is not appreciated and Bucky gives the other man a look but he complies because he's not in a place in his head where he's comfortable with protesting just yet. He eyes the front of the store and the door to the back again, before focusing on Tony. Everything that happens next is basically met with a wide-eyed deer stare as they start to get his measurements. The only thing he won't let them near is his metal arm. He doesn't register any of them as a threat but he's paranoid. He gives Tony a few wary looks as they start to bring him things to try on.

The problem arises when they start asking him questions about his favorite colors and styles of things. He just stares at them silently. It's a little awkward but he doesn't have an answer.

From:

starkingenuity

"Remember what I said about giving yourself orders?" Tony called, mostly because he could see Bucky was starting to struggle and that was giving him such massive issues. He just...clammed right on up. And that helped absolutely no one.

He shooed off a pretty thing who had too many buttons of her blouse undone and headed back over to where Bucky looked less than pleased about everything.

"Even if you don't have a favorite color, pick one. There's only so many. Small choices will help you out in the long run, buddy."